WAYS TO IMPROVE A RELATIONSHIP

We all desire a healthy and happy relationship, but sometimes our inability to communicate our emotions and feelings well, can really take things down hill for us, so here are a few ways of improving the equation of our relationships, although these steps seem easy but can sometimes be difficult to execute, but trust me it is always worth it!

1.       Avoid criticizing and give constructive feedbacks-

These days so much of our communication revolves around criticizing, putting the other person down and proving ourselves right. The end result of this is always arguments.

Anyways who likes being criticized right?

Instead rephrase your words and give appreciative constructive feedbacks.

e.g. “You never put your clothes in place, I always have to do that for you”

instead- “ hey love, do you mind putting back your clothes in their place – and also when they do, don’t forget to appreciate and say thank you, “

2.       Be Present

We all listen only to respond.

But sometimes all we need to do is listen and be present for our partners, be involved in the conversation when they talk of something critical, and respond with only non-verbal cues like nodding your head,  make them feel that you care by simple statements like – I am sorry to hear, or I completely understand why you are upset.

This is all they probably need- somebody who understands them .

3.       Ask-

Nobody is a mind reader, we cannot expect our partners to understand what we want without saying anything- that only happens in movies and not in real life,

So ask your partner whenever you require anything of them- whether you need their help with dishes or kids, request and a good partner will surely deliver .

4.       Express appreciation wherever it is due and also don’t forget to say “I LOVE YOU”

Acknowledging the little things can sometimes go a long way, it only motivates the opposite person to do more. So never miss a chance to say thank you, or that how happy you feel being in the relationship or how much help your partner has been .

Also “I love you” can feel outdated after having spent years together, but these are still 3 magical words which can keep any relationship alive.

5.       Take a time-out

Sometimes during arguments, it is better to be silent than saying words we would later regret- so whenever you feel the argument is heating up- just take sometime to reflect on the issue and tell your partner , you need sometime and will get back to it. This does not mean you leave the issue unadressed, but after you have put a thought to it, there are more chances that you would communicate with your partner rather than argue.

6.       Let go off the past

Everytime you argue, doesn’t mean that you have to remove all the past issues , this usually makes the argument start over something and end at something else, and can only complicate relationships, rather learn to address issues in the present itself and then forget about it.

e.g- you always do this, or behave this way, you can never improve etc etc are such common statements in our fights. Avoid doing that and be more mindful to address only the current issue. This will make your life much peaceful.

7.       Take time for each other

Intimacy plays an important part In a relationship. It is sometimes neglected with time and as one gets involved with other issues in the family. But sex can really help bring partners close.

Also don’t forget to spend time with your partner- going out on dinners or drives all by yourself can sometimes be a game changer.

Wishing you all a happy and healthy relationship.

Regards,

Dr Zainab Khambaty (Tajir)